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As an 'outsider' (not suffering from an eating disorder yourself) there isn't a lot you can do to help a sufferer. You should not force an Anorexic to eat, or make a Bulimic stop purging. The individual must make the choice for recovery themselves. The best way to help is to be supportive and to provide an ear if required.
"If [Eating Disorders] were merely a cry for help, then when that help is offered it would be accepted."
Many people believe that eating disorders are a way of seeking attention, but this is often not the case.
"[Eating Disorders] are often presented as the solution to a problem rather than the problem itself."
The sufferer may not immediately admit to having a problem. They may instead see their Eating Disorder as a coping mechanism to deal with their problems, rather than seeing it as part of the problem. The very first step is the acceptance that the Eating Disorder has in fact become a part of the problem rather than a solution to it. Even after this acceptance the sufferer may feel that they do not deserve help. Feelings of being worthless and undeserving are common amongst Eating Disorder sufferers. The next step is believing that they deserve help and recovery, and then making the choice for it, and being willing to do the work to get there.
Remember that eating disorders are not about food. They are a way of controlling and dealing with other emotional pain, so do not become the 'food police'. Do not continually comment on the persons eating habits, or the weight that they may have gained/lost. However, try not to avoid the subject of food totally, and don't be afraid to talk about your own day to day life (eg. A meal you may have been out to).
I personally (and many would agree) do not believe that removing privileges until xlbs or x amount of food is eaten is at all helpful.
"stripping the sufferer of privileges… may not be helpful at all. By forcing the sufferer to give up the protective shell of anorexia that they may be so accustomed to may be as self-defeating as the [Eating Disorder] itself."
Eating Disorders are often about control, and the sufferer may feel that the only control that they have in their life is their eating.
"Independence is further diminished once friends, relatives and doctors intervene… complicating further the issue of control."
Obviously, if a person is suffering from symptoms that may be ED related they will need medical treatment. Unless you are the parent of a child under 18 you can not force this person into treatment. And, even if you are the parent of a child under 18 you still can not force this child into recovery. You can take them to the doctor and get any physical/psychological care that is available, but recovery still must be the decision of this child. Forcing them to eat will not be effective in the long run. The emotional issues must be dealt with otherwise the ED behaviours will almost definitely return.
If a patients health is in danger the first step in therapy will be stabilising this. Then counselling/group therapy/out-patient etc. is required to deal with the emotional problems that the Eating Disorder was 'concealing'.
It may help to use self-help books and other forms of therapy that the sufferer can do themselves.
Recovery is not easy, and can take months or even years. It is about 'baby steps'… small steps which will get there in the end.
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